Darker Shadows

What Dark Shadows Should Be About

I don’t have all day because I’m a busy executive, but I’ve heard your pitch, I’ve seen the poster art, and I already know what direction you need to go with this project. 

I’m looking at the poster and I see JDepp in sunglasses and white makeup.   Great.  This vampire thing is really hot right now, and it’s still super fresh.  I want JDepp to be a vampire leader, but he’s a vampire leader with a secret: he can’t stand the sight of blood.  He knows if the other vampires found out about his phobia they’d totally outcast him, so he’s always trying to turn the lights down low when he’s gonna blood suck, ‘cause if he sees the blood: BAM, he faints (or pukes: see which tests better).

There’s this girl he really likes who’s also a vampire, but get this: she’s afraid of the dark!  So we get all these great scenes where they’re gonna suck someone’s blood and JDepp is trying to turn the lights down, and the girl is trying to turn the lights up, and they’re both all nervous, and the victim is finally like, “Are you guys gonna suck my freakin’ blood or WHAT!?”  [talk to TBurt about laugh track].

JDepp definitely needs a sidekick: I’m picturing a wisecracking bat with dreadlocks or maybe he's gay...that only Jdepp can see (?) [talk to Chris Rock about voicing bat: I *love* when he goes, “Maaaaaaan,” so we should def. have the bat do that…a lot…that’s his catchphrase!]

Love it, though: gonna be super funny.  Even the title is funny!  Of course they’re dark!  They’re freakin’ shadows!